I feel a bit silly for worrying that my datective work might come to a screeching halt due to meeting Prince Charming last week. Well, no need to lose sleep over that - sadly, the prince turned out to be a frog!
I must say, I was stunned. And this time not by my date’s beauty but by his complete transmutation from Mr. Gorgeous-Nice-Guy to Mr. McDaddy-Creepy! What’s even more uncanny is that my meal on the date ended up being the perfect metaphor for the date! Promising to be heart-warming, nurturing and delightful, it (and HE) unexpectedly turned out to be the exact opposite: too-cool, greasy and barely palpable!
To sum up:
- Shy turned Player. Incomprehensible how the seemingly sweet, low-key guy I met last week could so suddenly mutate into a creepy, scuzzy, playboy! He said that at first he is shy but once he gets comfortable, he is “ON”! Apparently, he became super comfortable with me because at one point he started grunting. Think Tim-the-tool-man-Taylor minus the accompanying humor. Never thought I’d miss being barked at!
- Self-qualifiers. My dad always says “don’t listen to words, listen to behavior.” Couldn’t agree more. Especially when people self-qualify “I am a gentleman” or “I respect women” or “I am SHY” or “I don’t like to talk about myself” prior to talking about himself and his conquests all night.
- TMI. Not only did I learn way more about his intimate life than I ever wanted to know, let alone in the fist hour of the first date, he mentioned his exes by their first AND last names. Not sure if he thought I’d want references, but who talks about their former partners without any discretion whatsoever?! That’s just class-less!
I’ll spare you further details but suffice to say I’m a bit disappointed. It’s so rare that I become infatuated, I was hoping to hang on to that fantasy for a bit. At the same time, I’m incredibly relieved that I discovered the frog before falling for the “false prince”. Some people I know haven’t been so lucky.
Has that ever happened to you? Totally misjudging the book for its cover? Stories of dates with double personalities? Getting grunted at? Something?! Please relate so I don’t start thinking it’s just me!
6 responses so far ↓
1 Denny K. // Jan 15, 2009 at 1:42 pm
Oh no! I was hoping this one would work out for you. Well on a bright side, we get to keep reading your awesome blog!
2 Tamera // Jan 16, 2009 at 1:15 pm
I’ve never been grunted at. Maybe he thought it was a mating call, frogs do make a low pitched sound when trying to attract a female; however, it’s usually in the spring. Your frog is a little early…
I did have a guy lift up his sweater and start scratching his fat gut on a first date…perhaps your frog and my toad are brothers?
It’s not you. There are just alot of frogs out there. Maybe someone out there can devise a frog meter. It releases a ribbit sound when one comes near.
3 MMMomma // Jan 17, 2009 at 10:18 am
Very good blog. I tell my customers all the time that life would be too easy if you found the right person on the first date. Life is about the journey right? Following you on Twitter which seems like such a voyeur thing..oh well
Waving from Canada
4 datective // Jan 18, 2009 at 11:19 am
Tamera, that’s hilarious! Maybe we should start a charitable organization (or business) that attempts to rehabilitate frogs and toads turn into date-able members of society!
5 datective // Jan 18, 2009 at 11:19 am
MMMomma, thanks so much! I am following you on Twitter too!
6 Katherine // Jan 22, 2009 at 9:08 am
I was hoping this guy would be great as well.
That said take heart dear one you are not alone in dating hell. I went out with a guy who on our first date told me “he was a ladies man and always gets what he wants”….I thought my hearing was bad, so I gave him a second chance.
On our second date he gave me a vibrator! Yes, I said vibrator…so take heart you are not alone in this journey.
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