It must be some sort of a crazy coincidence (if you believe in coincidences) that I’ve never had a truly romantic Valentine’s Day.  For most of them I’ve been single.  Or I’d go on a date and it would turn out disastrously (like last year!)  Even when I’ve been in relationships, one of us would inevitably have to travel.  Or we’d have a fight right beforehand and not spend the day together anyway…

Despite this perpetually non-romantic streak, I’ve never held a grudge against Valentine‘s Day.  In fact, for the past seven years it’s been my special day.  It was on February 14th, 2002 that I finally left a career that was depleting me and started a new one that thrills and fulfills me on daily basis (I know, hard to believe that I have a job aside from dating and blogging about it!)  Partly by chance and partly by design February 14th has sort of become  my V-day!  A time to celebrate my journey, accomplishments, friendships and all other things in my life I am amazingly grateful for.  It’s all about love, right?

Although not everyone has had an opportunity to change their life on February 14th (yet) here are some ideas on making Valentine’s Day fantastic, regardless of your relationship status.

1.  Stop glorifying a commercial holiday. I mean seriously, whether you’re single or coupled, think about it.  Out of 365 days in a year, someone arbitrarily decided that on ONE of them - February 14th -we’ll show love for each other by gifting tacky heart-shaped chocolate boxes, shiny pink balloons and stuffed dogs in t-shirts that say “I WOOF You (sorry, that‘s my post-barking trauma coming out again).  Do you really need an excuse to tell someone how you feel or give flowers or treat them with love?  I didn’t think so!

2.  Create your own holiday / cause to celebrate. In my case, I began a new career on February 14th.  I figure I’d never have a disappointing Valentine’s Day if I am celebrating my anniversary that day.  What can you celebrate that day that would make this day fabulous despite your relationship status?  Perhaps adopting a pet who needs your love? An annual spa day?  An annual get-away to a beautiful destination?  Commencing a project, business or hobby you’ve been meaning to try forever (my favorite, of course!)

3.  Throw a party.  No, not the bitter “We’re too good for love and men/women suck anyway” kind.  But one where you bring friends together to celebrate love.  Love of each other, of laughter, food, wine, travel, gerbils, whatever!  Make sure there’s plenty of all of the above (with possible exception of gerbils… then again, why not them too!)  In my 20s I threw a few Valentine’s Day parties and ran dating-story contests (little did I know I’d be sharing mine with the world a decade later ;)  Categories included “If I only knew then what I know now”, “What was I thinking!” and “Crazy things I did for love”.  More often than not, I took my own trophy home (or kept it at home in this case) but everyone had a ball mingling and laughing.  People still talk about those parties (and also about how I should have started this blog looong ago.)

4.  Have a dinner party / movie night  with friends. A few years ago I actually was dating someone over Valentine’s Day but he had to travel for work.  I was more than happy to celebrate it with two close friends eating, drinking and watching silly movies.  We rarely get to spend that much quality time together and I had so much fun, I was grateful that my boyfriend was out of town.  And I am not just saying that because I had one on the reserve; I’ve done this often enough as a single that I do mean it.

5.  Paint the town orange. Grab some friends (or make new ones) and get out there!  I am constantly surprised at how many non-couple activities there are on Valentine’s Day, at least in Washington.  Why this year there are so many I am double-booked both Friday and Saturday night.  I can’t wait!  And who knows whom you’ll meet in the process of celebrating life and having fun being you!

Oh and in case I forgot to mention, I could have had a date this year.  I decided to pass - plenty of time for dates after I am done celebrating V-day my way!

And how do you view Valentine’s Day?  Love it?  Hate it?  Fear it?  What are your special rituals and traditions, whether you’re single or a couple?  I’d love to hear about your V-day plans, insights and especially stories (always stories!)