I know, it’s been a looong time since I’ve blogged.  Sorry, a huge work project has made it barely possible to date, let alone blog about it.  I did say barely, which means I am sitting on a LOT of crazy stories, most of which happen to fall in the “scary-small world” category.  What happened last night was so horrifying, it pushed me right over the edge and back to the therapeutic haven of Datective Chronicles.

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Do you recall the first time someone referred to you as ma’am, sir, lady, gentleman, Mr. or Ms. and how it felt?  I remember waiting tables the summer before college and hearing a customer tell her little boy, “Now tell the lady what you want”.  I was 18 and so freaked out that I promptly forgot what they ordered.  Ever since, the frequency of “age-honoring” name-calling has increased – and continues to freak me out.  But it wasn’t until this week that someone called me ma’am…  to ask me out!

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It must be some sort of a crazy coincidence (if you believe in coincidences) that I’ve never had a truly romantic Valentine’s Day.  For most of them I’ve been single.  Or I’d go on a date and it would turn out disastrously (like last year!)  Even when I’ve been in relationships, one of us would inevitably have to travel.  Or we’d have a fight right beforehand and not spend the day together anyway…

Despite this perpetually non-romantic streak, I’ve never held a grudge against Valentine‘s Day.  In fact, for the past seven years it’s been my special day.  It was on February 14th, 2002 that I finally left a career that was depleting me and started a new one that thrills and fulfills me on daily basis (I know, hard to believe that I have a job aside from dating and blogging about it!)  Partly by chance and partly by design February 14th has sort of become  my V-day!  A time to celebrate my journey, accomplishments, friendships and all other things in my life I am amazingly grateful for.  It’s all about love, right?

Although not everyone has had an opportunity to change their life on February 14th (yet) here are some ideas on making Valentine’s Day fantastic, regardless of your relationship status.

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You know how our views about ourselves, the world and relationships evolve (hopefully) as we get older?   Well this weekend I had an amazing opportunity to observe three generations of single women interact.  Imagine hearing first-hand from an egg, a chick and a hen!  Ok, not a very flattering metaphor to anyone involved but you get the point.  It was a fascinating, sociology-study-worthy conversation!  [Read more →]

When I imagined what I’d gain from the iDate conference, I was counting on great industry-related content, contacts and conversations (I hear alliteration sells.) I had no idea that I’d also end up in a quandary about my personal views on dating and sex (something that apparently sells even better than alliteration.) And if so, keep on reading! [Read more →]

For years I’ve been curious about the dating industry. Who ARE those people and companies wooing singles with ever-escalating promises to help us find love? They’re everywhere! You can’t log into FaceBook or even Yahoo mail without encountering images of smiling, glowing couples recently matches by whatever service advertised. Rather than thinking “I’ll have what they’re having” my inquisitive mind always wonders “hmm, what did they buy and who sold it to them and how?”

Last month’s Inc. magazine featured the PlentyofFish.com founder who works two hour a day and makes $10 million / year. That was the final straw – I’ll have what HE is having! Come to find out there’s a multi-billion dollar industry out there aimed at getting singles to open up our hearts through our wallets. And, they all descend on Miami this week to learn, connect and figure out how to sell us more love potions at the iDate Conference. I couldn’t think of a better place to be! So I am flying to Miami for some major datective work as I investigate “whos, whats and hows” of the dating industry and start brainstorming how it could be done better (maybe even by someone like me

Stay tuned for updates (via Twitter) right from the dating trenches!

Ok, I’ve started reading Evan Marc Katz’ blog on dating it’s simply fabulous! Somehow he gets the right balance between witty, tough and insightful. I don’t know if I could have been as gracious to the woman who wrote in seeking permission to sleep with her stepson! I mean seriously?! If you’re that woman (or think she makes sense) please don’t write me – write Evan!

I feel a bit silly for worrying that my datective work might come to a screeching halt due to meeting Prince Charming last week. Well, no need to lose sleep over that – sadly, the prince turned out to be a frog!

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There is nothing as wonderful as finding out that the person you like, miraculously likes you back! The whole world begins to make just a bit more sense. Colors become brighter, sounds more vibrant and you just can’t stop grinning. And your blog readers roll their eyes and make gagging noises at your mushiness but you just don’t care. Because the boy you like likes you too!  [Read more →]

Are romantic movies putting in jeopardy our realistic expectations of relationships? Do they make us crave things we can’t possibly attain in real life? So claim social scientists at Heriot-Watt University in Edinburgh, England.

The skeptical part of me sees their point – most romantic comedies depict scenarios that are quite far-fetched. When was the last time you heard about a millionaire falling for a hooker (Hugh Heffner and his half-dozen barely-legal girlfriends not withstanding – yes, I know they’re not technically hookers.) And in every-day life “you’ve got mail” does not usually produce a Meg Ryan or a Tom Hanks type – it produces someone who worships fruit flies or themselves! Then again, none of my relationships ended due to him drowning to an Anya song (at least as far as I know).

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